Friday, April 20, 2012

Bitumen Lewis Lewis...

So we bought some bargain parquet flooring, only 6m2, to go in our hallway - beautiful thick solid oak...  cost us £5 - thank you eBay.....

For 3 flippin weeks now we've been scraping bitumen off the sides of our £5 bargain flippin parquet - AND whats more, in so doing, we have also ruined 1 £35 mattress protector (thanks to bitumen residue left in the washing machine) and have a trail of bitumen throughout the house, over all of the carpets that I spent £50 having cleaned.  

NOT only that, but we bought a new mattress protector, for £20, only for me to take it out of the pack, throw away the packaging, wash the protector, put it on our bed and discover some sly s0d had swapped it in the shop for a single mattress protector... so we then had to spend another £20 on an actual double protector.  

AND, not only that, but when we went to Dunelm (we're all about the bargains in this house) to get the mattress protector, and even though we definitely don't get lured by advertising and pretty coloured cr@p that is essential for an idealistic and successful lifestyle, we came away with £25 worth of decorative, nice smelling, debatabley essential, additional household items!

WHAT'S more, we still have stinking granny carpet in our hallway, because we're still scraping stinking bitumen off our bargain flippin parquet blocks, which have cost us £120 so far, with a further bill of £50 weekend sander hire, underlay, PVA, filler and varnish to come...

Notice my absence in the photo - I'm inside the house changing Lewis' passwords to eBay...


  1. Not ranting at all then?

  2. I never rant - just like when I'm sick, I don't like to make a fuss, I'm very stoic that way :)

  3. Coming from someone whose entire house is furnished throughout from Ebay, stay away, it's more addictive than the plastic, smelly, squishy life essentual crap at Dunelm. I've had to design a porch around an old railway carrage luggage rack I found on Ebay, it was a bargin,but what do I say to the planners if they say it's too big. We can't make it smaller as I've got this quality, beautiful thing that needs a home and I WANT IT! See what I mean? We all learn the hard way when it comes to mixing Ebay in with home renovation........Or should I say our men do!

  4. I think that Lewis Lewis should sell the soilid oak floor tiles for profit on firewood.
    Then he should go out and buy proper new flooring from B&Q or Wickes, but then that's against his religion isn't it.

  5. I'm sure it will look lovely down, all that hard work will be worth it for the wonderful result. If not I'm going ot put carpet over th top. The fact that you can no longer feel the tops of your fingers, your lungs are filled with toxic bitumen dust and your girlfriend has "helped" by sanding a good 10 or 15 blocks out of 500, is by the by. It's the art that makes it worthwhile!!!!


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